Advice for men: cut 'n' paste messages

One of the most common reasons MSFers contact us for advice is lack of action in their inbox and our reply is always the same: you have to send a lot of messages if you want to receive some. If you're sending first messages to a lot of people it can be tempting to resort to the old cut 'n' paste and send the same message every time, but it won't do you any favours in the long run.

We consulted our female MSFers and a whopping 70% of them said they could spot a cut 'n' pasted message a mile off. One woman told us "It's so obvious when a guy has cut and pasted a message - there is absolutely nothing specific about you or your profile in their at all. Needless to say, I NEVER reply to those emails".

So, if you have a pre-made message ready with a gap for a name which you can fill in as appropriate it's time to dump it. Being on MSF isn't about spamming people's inboxes, it's about making connections with real people and making them feel special. Here are a few things to think about when writing those unique messages.

Fun

MSF is all about the fun. Put some humour in your messages and be cheeky! 85% of the women we polled about messages said they didn't mind a bit of humour directed at them as long as it was light-hearted.

Brevity

Keep to three or four sentences. Say what you like about their profile in a meaningful way and what prompted you to contact them, for example, if you have a common interest. This is the perfect length for a first message, brief and energetic but not so short that it won't invite a response.

Keep it open

You want them to respond, so think about including an open question. For example, if they've mentioned they've been on holiday recently or travelling a lot, ask them where they went and say you'd love to hear more about it. Sincere enthusiasm is key here if you want them to respond.

Don't get upset if they don't reply

The quicker you can get over someone not the responding, the better you'll get on. There's no point spending a lot of negative energy on wondering why, just click search, find another potential date and send them a message. By the time you've hit send, you'll have forgotten all about the lack of response.

Frequency

We've said it before and we'll keep saying it ad nauseum. Send lots of messages - we recommend a minimum of twenty a week. Keep to the rules above and you'll soon get into the happy of constructing personalised messages quickly and easily.

We'll be back in couple of weeks with more advice for the chaps.

Not a mysinglefriend.com member? Join now for free!

Click to go to mysinglefriend.com