Advice: Knowing what you're looking for
If you're a regular reader of the mysinglefriend.com blog, you'll have seen our weekly success stories and know that we're fans of long term relationships, romance and wedding bells. Our success stories go to show that online dating and, more specifically, MSF really does work. Along with the LTR, we're also fans of the casual date; on MSF the emphasis is about having fun just as much as it is about finding love. So, basically, we like everything. Hooray!
Our MSFers, however, may not. Some people on the site will be seriously scouting for The One, wanting to find that perfect person to spend the rest of their lives with. Others may have joined the site to meet new people, go on some casual dates and have a bit of a giggle. There are probably a few people who are just a bit curious about the dating scene and are dipping their toes in the water. Just as you'd expect out in the big wide world, there are all sorts of different people on MSF, all looking for different things. If you want a successful experience on mysinglefriend, the trick is to know what you're looking for. If you're looking for a serious relationship and don't have time to waste on casual dating, you need to make that clear.
Now, we're not advocating leaping into mail conversations with things like 'Do you think you'll want to marry me in a years time?' as this will have prospective dates running for the hills immediately, but there are some slightly more subtle ways to find out what someone is looking for. Though it somewhat smacks of a scary interview question, asking, as casually as possible, something like 'Where do you see yourself in two years time?' will help you figure out their frame of mind. If they say 'Engaged' then you'll know you're on a similar wave length. If they say 'In a hot tub in Tobago with Beyonce and Harrison Ford' then you may presume that their projected life path is a bit too different from yours.
If you're concerned that your potential date isn't looking for a serious relationship, it's worth sticking at the mail stage a little bit longer before you decide to meet. If someone suggests a date after the first or second mail, then loses interest when you demur, it's probably safe to assume that they are not in it for the long term. If you build up a good rapport via mail, share interests, aspirations and other details then you can probably surmise that the person wants to pursue a relationship. Spend enough time mailing, or perhaps talking on the phone, and you'll most likely feel able to ask them outright and share your hopes for the future with them.
As with most things in life, an honest and straight forward approach will get you furthest. Why not take the ultimate step and state what you want in your response. It may feel like going a bit too far to say 'I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with' but at least you'll know that the people who contact you are happy to entertain that possibility too.
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