Dating advice: How much affection?
The majority of the tips and advice we share via the mysinglefriend.com blog concern the online bit of online dating; writing a great response, choosing good photos, writing witty emails and the like. Recently, however, we received an email from an MSFer asking the following: 'Can you give some advice on what to do on the actual date? I get really nervous and could do with some guidance'. So far we've covered what to wear, first date venues, what to say, eating and drinking and what to do. Today we're looking at the tricky subject of touching.
Is it appropriate on a first date?
The answer is yes, but it has to come naturally. If you're getting on well with your date and having a laugh, the impulse to give them a brief touch on the arm or shoulder may well arise and it's alright to do that. It's a friendly and flirtatious gesture and, if it feels right, one that they're likely to be happy with. What you don't want to do is to be looking for opportunities to touch them on the arm as you'll come across as awkward and a bit strange. You'll be able to tell if the date is going well and any touching is appropriate, and take note of whether they touch you back. If they do, things are going very well indeed.
Where and when?
Shoulders and arms are a good place to start, though a tap (and certainly not a hearty slap) on the knee is alright too. Avoid hands at first as this can feel a bit intimate if you don't know someone yet, and, of course, avoid anywhere that is obviously a no-no. Keep your touches brief, as any lingering can stray into creepy territory, and keep it light too, as heavy hands are likely to be a turn off. Also, don't touch too much. A touch now and then is good flirting but if you keep poking and prodding your date they're not going to like you very much.
To kiss or not to kiss?
First things first: don't spend the whole date worrying about this as fixating on whether it will happen or not will most likely mean that it won't. If the date goes well and you can feel that there's some chemistry then it might feel appropriate to kiss, but you should never expect one. It's also worth bearing in mind that this is a potentially very awkward moment where you go for a hug, they go for a kiss and you end up with a tongue in your ear, so be prepared to laugh and try again if necessary.
If you have any thoughts on first date kissing or anything else you'd like to tell us about, get in touch with us on email@example.com - we'd love to hear from you.
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