Sarah answers your dating questions

A couple of weeks ago we asked you to get in touch if you were feeling the need for a bit of online dating advice or needed a hand to make the most of mysinglefriend.com. Our resident dating expert Sarah Beeny answers your queries and conundrums...

I've only been on here a couple of weeks but I've been finding it pretty slow going.  I have added quite a few to my favourites and I've sent unsolicited emails to a few but I'm not getting much of a response. Any advice? - Nina

Hi Nina. This is a very common scenario for those at the beginning of their time on mysinglefriend.com. You've used the word 'few' in your email twice and that may be where your problem lies; in the world of online dating, excess = success. You need to favourite loads of people (I'm talking pages of them) and there's only one way to ensure you receive more mail: send more mail.

It's really easy to be put off when your carefully crafted emails go ignored or unopened but don't take it personally. The recipients might be inundated with mail, or dating someone else, or simply too busy to answer. So don't be downhearted, just keep going. Set yourself a task: message 10 different people a day for 10 days and your response rate should rocket.

I've been added to people's favourites and been sent emails but not from anyone that really catches my attention. Am I setting my standards too high? - Helen

Hi Helen. The answer to this is not so much about having high standards, more about having an open mind. As you browse the site there will be a lot of profiles that you pass by without further inspection, solely on the basis of their picture. Maybe they don't look like the type of person you'd normally go for or they don't live up to your imagined perfect match but online dating is all about stepping out of your comfort zone.

Be sure to check out secondary images as they can give you more of a clue as to what a person is really like and read their profile carefully, you may find that you like the cut of their jib and what they look like matters less. The bottom line is, reply to mails and go on some dates. Interacting via mail will give you an idea of the real life person behind that profile and help you decide if you want to meet with them out in the real world. Give them a chance as I'm sure you hope they'll do for you.

I've been trying to send lots of mail but I'm finding it hard to know what to write. Any tips? - Georgios

Hello Georgios. Start with a good message title. Never, ever start a message with 'Hi...' or any variation on a generic greeting. The recipients' mailbox will most likely be stuffed with these and anything that can make you stand out from the crowd is a good thing. Refer to something in their profile or photo, ask a silly question, compliment them, anything apart from the crashing dullness of 'Hi...'.

Make the message itself short and upbeat, no life stories or tales of woe, please. Refer to their profile as they'll be pleased to know you've taken enough interest to read it and that you aren't blanket mailing everyone with the same message. Ask them a question so that they'll have something to respond to and try and establish a rapport; mention something that you've seen in their profiles or pics that you're interested in too.

There don't seem to be that many people in my area that match my criteria. What can I do? - Stephen

Hi Stephen. There's a simple answer to that; change your criteria. I'm not talking massive adjustments, just a few tweaks here and there. For example, if your age range is 30 to 38, adjust it a little at both ends, make it 28 to 40. Two years either side isn't much different to the age of the person you're looking for, but it is going to mean that you'll have many more people to choose from.

Don't just search for people who have logged in in the last day. Many people are too busy to log in every day, but that doesn't mean they aren't keen to be dating. If you want to give yourself a good chance, you have to give them a chance too.

Extend the area you're looking in a bit. If you haven't set a secondary area, set it to the county next to yours. It will be a matter of a few miles and open up a whole new section of people for you. If you live in London, you may as well search in as many boroughs as possible as the people who live there will still be in fairly easy reach.

Basically, try not to place limitations on yourself and be prepared to go the extra mile (possibly literally) to meet some fantastic people.

Thanks Sarah! If you've got any more questions, queries or quibbles, let us know here. Sarah will be back on the blog soon with more dating advice and tips.