Bluffer’s Guide to the World Cup

The Bluffer’s Guide to The World Cup offers an insight to the rules of the beautiful game as well as highlighting some of the unique elements of a knock-out tournament.

Browsing this before watching a match should ensure you understand what all the shouting is about and give you some football banter rather than becoming a wallflower.

Below is a little flavour of what the ‘Bluffer’s Guide to the World Cup’ offers:

• Fouls, free-kicks and bad behaviour – this section includes insights into the rough and tumble of the game including ‘diving’ and ‘red cards’.

• People you need to know – this section includes information about the different people involved in the game, from the referee to the substitutes and includes the following on the Manager:

Fabio Capello is the current manager of England having taken over from the enormous failings of the wally with the brolly Steve McClaren who has been banished from the country and is now trying to salvage his career in Germany. 

                 

• Quirkiness of the World Cup and knock-out tournaments explains the oddities of the World Cup including the drama of such things as ‘penalty shoot out’:

Penalty shoot-outs are awful. They are a horrendous way to resolve a game. 

England’s fans feelings towards these are probably exaggerated due to the fact that this is how we have exited most of the major football tournaments we’ve played in for the last 20 years.

They create heroes and villains, but in typical British fashion we’re able to mock those who let the nation down as they appear in self-deprecating adverts for restaurant chains in the years following their misdemeanours...

• World Cup Miscellany includes important information such as ‘key faces’ of this year’s tournament:

• Diego Maradona (manager of Argentina and volleyball enthusiast)

• Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal’s Brylcreem Boy, susceptible to the odd tantrum)

• Lionel Messi (blessed with the feet of Mohammed Ali, if not the height)

• Kaka (unfortunately named Brazilian star)

• Didier Drogba (Ivory Coast striker who enjoys a lively debate with camera crews)

• Sven Goran Eriksson (manager of Ivory Coast and lothario)

• Fernando Torres (there’s something in the air tonight but it’s not ABBA, it’s the Spanish striker)

For the complete guide click here.