Thanks so much to the lovely folks who wrote in to welcome me to my new advice role, I really didn't expect that!
It's great that MSFers have been interested in my help in the past few weeks. I've found that we can turn around the fortunes of a lingering profile quite easily.
The reason I'm posting to the blog today is that there are some really common answers in reply to those people not having much luck:
Send more mail
A few people have asked me why they aren't receiving much mail when they haven't sent any messages themselves! There's only one way to ensure you receive more mail - send more mail.
I set some members the task of contacting 10 new people every day/week. Why not try it yourself? It works, and can turn things around in a matter of days.
So, who ARE you mailing? If your answer is 'the total hotties' then you are limiting your own chances - they may be inundated with mail. If your answer is 'the total hotties, but only every now and then' then you are committing the worst online dating crime I can think of!
Here's some useful blog posts:
http://www.mysinglefriend.com/blog/judge_book.html
http://www.mysinglefriend.com/blog/widening_the_net.html
http://www.mysinglefriend.com/blog/to_mail_or_not.html
http://www.mysinglefriend.com/blog/email_etiquette.html
It's worth noting that photo's just can't deliver that 'something' you may be looking for....you may already be talking to a hottie and not even know it!
Your photo
A blurry, grey, dark or even sad looking photo will not wash! While you may not notice such negative aspects in your own photo (as the image of your face seems flattering to you), we see the overall image, and so does your potential date.
Think about the overall composition, not just your face. A grey or brown background doesn't make a profile eye-catching to those scrolling through pages of potentials. The most common photo offences include; an ironing board, a sofa, bathroom tiles, kitchen cupboards, a beer filled table, a desk or a bed (a bed?).
I cannot stress enough how important an inviting and interesting photo is.
What's a good photo? A clear, colourful headshot showing your smile (a pout tends to look grumpy) is a great start. We find bright outdoor photos are clicked on more that any others.
You have secondary photo options. Here you can show yourself in a different light so please don't add 3 similar photos. Show us your holiday snaps, show us that you go out with your friends, show us your hobbies, but please don't show us your Star Wars duvet cover!
http://www.mysinglefriend.com/blog/msf_advice_pictures.html
http://www.mysinglefriend.com/blog/photos.html
Blanket messages
I don't recommend sending generic messages. A few people have asked me why they aren't getting much response from sending messages such as:
'I like the look of you. Check out my profile and send me a message if you like the look of me too.'
I'm imagining those of you who open such a message might feel like you've received the same message as 200 other people (I would!). Try to send a message that shows you have READ their profile, compliment the recipient or mention something that you have in common. We know that 'txt tlk' is a pet-hate, as is poor spelling and grammar, so do check before clicking that send button.
I do hope you find these tips handy. Please do get in touch with me if you feel you need a boost.
Happy hunting all!
