Fab Profile Alert: Caroline

"We were getting on famously until Caroline, no doubt under the influence of one pie too many, grabbed me by my collar, held a pie-slice to my neck and screamed “I need a man, but you're close enough”.

After placating Caroline with pies and ale, we agreed that in return for not cutting my throat, I'd flog Caroline on the internet to men along with my Empirium Aremani sunglasses and a lava lamp.

Ebay said that technically, selling Caroline online was a bit too close for slavery for the legal department's tastes but that the sunglasses were lovely. My Single Friend has no such qualms on the basis that the Slavery Abolition Act does not cover payments made by way of pies."

The pie loophole strikes again and Caroline's friend John's literary description has bagged her a Fab Profile Alert. To read Caroline's full profile then click here.