mysinglefriend blog

How to get all of your messages answered!

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

We recently posted on the blog a small request that you answer all the messages you are sent, prompted by an email that was sent to the blog by one of our MSFers. We were very happy to address the issue as it's you guys that make mysinglefriend.com what it is and we're always pleased to represent your views. We recently received another email in response to the post suggesting that messages might go unanswered because a message was too short, or not enough effort had gone into it, and this made it hard to reply to. This is a good point and one worth thinking about so if you're finding that you aren't getting the kind of response that you'd like have a look through your sent box and ask yourself the following questions.

Are my message titles eye catching?

If all of your message titles are 'Hi', 'Hey', 'Hello', 'Howdy' or any other similarly generic greeting, you need to make some changes. Inboxes are chock full of messages like this and if yours are the same then you're just going to blend right in with the crowd and slash your chances of getting some interest. If you can think of something witty that will raise a smile, then go with that, or you could reference something mentioned in their profile which proves you've thoroughly read their description and response, and are genuinely interested in them.

Are my messages a good length?

The unhelpfully vague reply to this question is, not too long, not too short. Kind of middly. Long enough to impart a bit of info about you, mention something in their profile so they know you've read it and give them something to respond to, but short enough not to kill all your mystique by detailing every tiny detail of your life thus far, and then send them to sleep. Make sure you include a question too as this provides them with an easy hook to hang their response on, and allows you to demonstrate that you are a charming and inquisitive people person, rather than a self-absorbed nightmare.

Are my messages tailored to each potential date?

By this we mean, don't copy and paste your messages. If you do this and you aren't getting replies then you need to stop doing it RIGHT NOW. A poll that we took a little while ago found that 70% of women said they could spot a copy and pasted message a mile of, and we have no doubt that blokes will say the same. One MSFer told us: "It's so obvious when a guy has cut and pasted a message - there is absolutely nothing specific about you or your profile in there at all. Needless to say, I NEVER reply to those emails." Copy and paste messages are a false economy in the end as people won't reply - they want to feel special and know that you have a genuine interest in them, so take the time to write a different message to everybody and see if that doesn't liven up your inbox.

If you've got anything to say in response to this then we'd love to keep the conversation going - drop us an email at blog@mysinglefriend.com and let us know what you think.

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MSF Gallery: Mile high MSFers!

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

As you may have seen, we've been doing a bit of research amongst the MSF dating pool of late, trying to find out what type of pictures you should have on your profile to get the most dates. The results revealed that shots that demonstrate an adventurous nature go down a storm; you guys like potential dates to have a lust for life and be up for an exciting time. So we went searching for some adventurers and came up with this bunch who think a good time involves dropping thousands of feet from an aeroplane...

Ben

Bethany

Charlie

Elizabeth

Rather you than us, guys! If you'd like to contact any of these high flyers just click on the pictures to view their dating profiles and get in touch.

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Success Story: Amy and Brett

Fri, 17 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

Happy Friday ladies and gents! We're crossing our fingers for a sun-filled weekend spent in the great outdoors, because, c'mon Mother Nature, it's the middle of May and we should have attended at least six barbecues by now, rather than one. We hope you've all got a delightful weekend planned, torrential rain or not, and we'd like to ease you into Friday with another mysinglefriend.com success story. We received this email from Amy and Brett letting us know about their new relationship...

"I would just like to thank you for all your help in introducing me to my wonderful man, Brett. I must admit that I was dubious about how much I would get out of MSF, but I had heard of so many success stories and I have a few close friends who met their partners on MSF, so I decided to give it a go. And I am so pleased that I did. I would never have imagined at the beginning of this year that I would now have met and moved in with the most amazing man I have ever met. There is no way we could have met without you, so thank you for what you provide.

"I can only say to those who are considering joining, give it a go! Everyone who knows us can see that we're extremely well matched, and I can only think that because your site enables us to have a preview of each other to evaluate our compatibility before we meet, it has given us the perfect start to our blooming relationship. Many thanks!"

Huge congrats to Amy and Brett from everyone at MSF! You can check out more MSF success stories here.

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MSF poll results: Using your pictures to get more dates

Thu, 16 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

MSF is all about getting dates, so it's vital your profile is working as hard as possible to achieve this, and we're here to help you. We'll be doing a series over the coming weeks on primping and preening your profile to make it the best it possibly can be but it'll require a smidgen of effort from you. As your primary school teacher no doubt told you, you only get out what you put in and it really is worth a spot of elbow grease if you want to stand out in the dating pool and attract some lovely people.

Whilst we're pretty well-versed in what works and what doesn't work when it comes to dating profiles, we wanted to ask the people who really know the score and that's you guys, our MSFers. We've been running a series of polls asking questions about your thoughts on secondary pictures and whether a few extra photos changes the likelihood of you contacting someone or not. The first question we asked was do you like lots of photos on a profile?

Well, that pretty much speaks for itself. One photo shows people what you look like, but lots of photos show them your interests, your friends, your holidays and a million other things, and will paint a much more vivid picture of you and your life. If you've only got one photo on your profile, we strongly suggest you add more!

Next we asked you what sort of pictures you liked to see the best, and this time we split the question between the sexes. First of all we asked the ladies what kind of photo was most likely to convince them to message someone?

And it's pretty clear what they want to see. Photos taken whilst travelling has a clear 51% of the vote, presumably because an adventurous Indiana Jones type of guy is an attractive prospect. It seems that women like men who have seen the world and expanded their horizons and, we guess, are likely to be up for an exotic foreign trip in the future. Photos of nights out are the next most popular which doesn't surprise us as we know MSFers and a sociable bunch who enjoy a drink or two, followed by obvious selfies which has perplexed us somewhat, but more of that in a moment. Photos with cute pets garnered 10%, which isn't loads but they're worth adding if you've got them, as who can actually resist a cute guy with a cute animal? You'd have to have a heart of stone. Professional studio shots, however, are a definite no no, whether they were taken for the office website 'About us' page, or specifically for this purpose. Candid shots only, please. Next we asked the guys the same question...

Blokes aren't quite so fussed about a well-travelled lady, though shots taken abroad still garnered 27%, so they're definitely worth including. Cute pets do absolutely nothing for the chaps, and professional studio shots don't hold much interest either. It seems that the men are keen on a woman who enjoys a night out, but mostly, it seems - and this is where we started feeling a little bemused - they like a woman who likes taking pictures of herself. Now, back in ye olde days of online dating a picture that you'd obviously taken yourself was generally frowned upon as it made you look a little bit sad and lonely, presumably because going to the effort of getting out your camera, taking the photo, plugging the camera into your computer, uploading it and getting it online suggested someone with too much time on their hands, and not enough friends. Now, however, we've all got megapixel cameras poised in our pockets all the time, and it's the work of a moment to take a snap and whack it online. Still, we felt this needed further exploration, so we asked both men and women why they like selfies on MSF...

And the answer was somewhat hazy, as it appears you don't really know, apart from it makes you feel a bit better when you add your own, you mad narcissist, you. So, what is it about selfies? Are they part of our life long search for validation? Are they an exploration of the self? Are they self-portraiture in the digital age? This interesting article attempts to answer these questions, but we'd love to hear more from you, so if you've got any thoughts then drop us a line to blog@mysinglefriend.com.

So, whilst our findings are a little inconclusive on the whole selfie question, what is crystal clear is that more photos means more interest in your profile and ultimately that translates to more dates. So get adding them now!

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MSFer of the Week: Mat

Wed, 15 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

mysinglefriend.com is awash with brilliant profiles. They might be funny, clever, sincere, strange or just have a really great photo, but something will make them stand out. Each week we're going to be picking our favourite profile and sharing it with all of you. But this isn't a one way street; if you've seen a really good profile or even if you'd like to nominate your own, you can get in touch with us at blog@mysinglefriend.com and tell us all about it.

Even if the information in this profile is only half true, Mat sounds pretty special...

"Some say he's the b#stard love child of Jack Dee and Audrey Hepburn... others admire his biting wit and fin de siècle charm. Ladies and gentlemen, I am delighted introduce Mathew.

Born to loving parents somewhere in the Midlands (sub pls check), Mathew was a remarkable child. Walking and talking by 2 and 6 months respectively, baby Mat was spotted by Pinewood agents and landed a series of gigs on stage and screen, including bit parts in Casualty and the Bill. His big break came in 1994 when, at the tender age of 14, Mat played the title role in Baby’s Day Out, John Hughes’ seminal work.

However, adolescence begat a new found sense of purpose and it was not long until Mat’s acting career was playing second fiddle to his love of politics – observant readers will recognise his face from Arthur Scargill’s infamous 2001 election campaign posters. Despite Mat’s left leaning Weltanschauung, he chose to read Politics at Edinburgh University and upon graduation left for Mongolia where he headed up the UN’s electioneering unit, guaranteeing victory for pro-West forces. Mat was subsequently head hunted to join a top UK electioneering outfit where he was responsible for some of the finest vote rigging since Pinochet’s junta. Alas, after yet another landslide win for the DUP in West Belfast Mat had a change of heart and joined an up-and-coming small tech firm with a very bright future... reader, I was his colleague.

If you have made it this far, congratulations, you clearly fancy his profile pic. Admittedly there are some half-truths in the above text, but to find out exactly what you will have to ask the man himself. So a bit about you... you are smart but not necessarily serious, liberal, active and social. You are probably middle class (but mortified at the idea of class). You’ve been to Glastonbury and probably have a cute hobby, like tap dancing or snorkelling. You are tired of meeting randoms in bars but love random chats with friends. You are amazing. Go for it!"

Can you take on the might of Mat? If you think so, click to view his dating profile and send him a message.

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Advice: keeping your profile fresh

Tue, 14 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

Some people stay on mysinglefriend.com for a long time, and we like that. Whether it takes them a while to meet someone, or they're holding out for exactly the right person, or they're just having a great time going on loads of dates with sexy new folk, it's all good with us; we enjoy a success story but we always champion the single. Now, if you do happen to be on MSF for a longish stretch, it's very important that you update your profile once in a while, otherwise it might start to feel a little out of date and, equally, if you used the site previously and have reactivated your profile it's a very good idea to cast an eye over your description, response and photos before you get back online, lest you're still carping on about the thrill of William and Kate's wedding like some sort of royalist nutjob. Here are some things to look out for:

Up to date pictures

If, as people often do, you left the site three or four years ago to pursue a relationship that ultimately didn't go the distance and you're now back and raring to go, you really should update your photos. Even though you might look a shade more youthful or a few pounds lighter in your old pics, it's important to be honest about your appearance, as turning up on a date looking obviously different from your photo tends not to go down well. If you don't think you look too different (and you might want to get an second opinion on that) then check for things that will date your photos like you standing near the half-built Olympic Park or attending Live Aid.

Correct details

It's easy to overlook the little details underneath your profile, but you'll do yourself a disservice if you do. If three years ago you were a proper party animal who went out and got plastered every weekend and was looking for someone to do the same with, you may have opted for the 'Drinks like a fish' option, but now you may have settled right down and only enjoy a moderate glass of red in front of Downton. Your profile builds a picture of you and your lifestyle, so make sure even the little details are presenting you accurately.

Your description

Depending on what they wrote the first time around, you might want to ask your friend to write a new description of you. People do change, and some information might be out of date, so have a careful read and decide if the description is doing you justice. You may even decide that you want a new friend to describe you; perhaps you've met someone new who you think has really got the measure of you, or you've discovered someone else is a brilliant writer and would do a great job. If you want to change your friend, drop an email to admin@mysinglefriend.com.

Your response

Responses tend to be be more time-specific than any other part of your profile, so make sure you really pay attention here. People mention events they're going to ("Can't wait to see Blur at Glastonbury!), television programmes they like ("Excited to find out how The Sopranos ends!") and music they are listening to ("I've just discovered a wacky new singer called Lady Gaga!"), and it's pretty obvious when they're out of date. Even if you're fairly new to MSF it makes sense to update your response on a regular basis anyway, as potential dates really like up to the minute and obviously cared for profiles. It'll only take a tick, and it'll make a world of difference.

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An awfully big MSF adventure!

Mon, 13 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

A recent mysinglefriend.com poll found that many MSFers were most likely to contact people who had added pictures to their profile that they'd taken whilst travelling. It seems that an adventurous spirit is an attractive trait, especially for women, over 50 per cent of whom said they liked travelling photos most of all. So, if you've got some pictures of you looking all sexy and tanned on a Peruvian mountain in a poncho you wove yourself from your Rough Guide and some alpaca spit, then get it up on your profile now! And if you aren't a seasoned traveller, don't worry as you can whack up a few holiday pics instead - a little bit of sun goes a long way, weather it's in Warisaliganj or Weston-Super-Mare. We found these exotic MSFers to share with you today.

Alex

Pau

Damien

Sarah

If you fancy a walk on the wild side with any of these lovely folk, just click the pictures to view their dating profiles and get in touch.

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Success Story: Ben and Caroline

Fri, 10 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

Ah, the joys of springtime weather, when blossom falls on sun-warmed pavements and... hang on a minute! What's happened to spring? It's raining and it's cold and we feel like we've been tricked following the glorious Bank Holiday weather, so now we don't know if we should be leaving the house in sandals or scarves. Anyhow, we hope the weather will return to form soon but in the meantime you can warm yourself over the weekend on this delightftul mysinglefriend.com success story from Caroline and Ben who are getting married this month.

"MSF was the first online dating website I had tried," Caroline told us. "Before signing up my opinion was that to resort to such a modern way of dating was to publicly admit failure in relationships and was a sure sign of ones inability to successfully socialise and utilise current pools of friends in order to meet prospective partners! Having tried it I can sincerely say I had a blast - I went on many dates and met some great men. Since then I've recommended MSF to all my single girlfriends and had some heated debates with people who prefer the conventional offline dating method but seem to be getting nowhere (as I used to).

"On our first date we met for coffee on Waterloo Bridge. Ben was smiley and chatty, and we clicked due to having so much in common. We both live busy, active lifestyle and are very outdoorsy; the fact that he also snowboards was a major plus point! Living by the sea I'm really into watersports so he immediately threw down the challenge of teaching him to wakeboard, which I was definitely up for!

"Our wedding is in May so we're both very hopeful that the weather takes a turn for the better! The day after we're jetting off to the Seychelles so I'm very happy and feel very spoilt that I'm going to have a honeymoon to remember forever. Thanks MSF - we would never have met without you."

Our pleasure! Many congrats from everyone at mysinglefriend.com (we're keeping our fingers crossed for sunshine!).

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MSF Gallery: Will

Wed, 08 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

We've been running an online poll over the last couple of weeks trying to gauge what kind of photos MSFers respond to the most, finding out what is most popular and what makes someone most likely to contact some else. One discovery has been that photos of people travelling are pretty popular, presumably because they demonstrate a certain boundless and free-spirited nature. We had a little look through some of your secondary pics and we think we may have stumbled on on one of the most adventurous MSFers ever. Welcome to the thrilling world of Will...

He flies!

He climbs!

He sits casually near terrifying heights!

He camouflages himself in inhospitable landscapes!

He's pretty much James Bond, don't you think? If you want to get in touch with Will and see if he's as exciting on a date just click to view his dating profile and get in touch.

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Join the Bank Holiday Dating Extravaganza!

Mon, 06 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

So we know it's super sunny and all, and you're no doubt this very moment blowing on barbecue coals and wondering just how pink a sausage can be without giving you food poisoning, but spare a thought for your dating life for just a moment. Just as Sundays are generally the busiest day of the week on MSF, Bank Holidays do pretty well too, as there is plenty of time on a relaxed sunny day to check the MSF mobile site and find out who's around. So, don't be shy - get favouriting and flirting now!

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Fantastic MSFer feedback from April

Thu, 02 May 2013 00:00:00 +0100

We do like a happy customer here at mysinglefriend.com, and we've got a few of them, as our success stories demonstrate. We'd like to share with you some of the great feedback that we got from our MSFers during April, as we believe a little toot of your own horn is acceptable every now and then. We always like to hear from you - if you've got anything you'd like to get in touch and chat with us about just drop us an email at blog@mysinglefriend.com.

"Great fun - met a lot of great people. Thanks to the team for all their help."

Sam, 42, London

"Thanks for all your help. Met Lucy through the site, and now she's marrying me!"

Steve, 28, Humberside

"Great site with the best reputation for meeting genuine people. Well done on carrying out this great business that changes lives and brings lots of love into the world! Thanks."

Lucy, 28, London

"I didn't think it would work, but I gave it a go as I turned 30 and hadn't met anyone through the usual ways, so I knew I had to do something differently. My friend Annabel met her partner Oliver on MSF on her first date and they now live together, so I thought I'd give it a go. It takes constant effort but luckily I met someone really amazing on my 4th date. I can't believe he was single, but then he says that of me too! It's early days, it's only been a month, but I think it's something really special - I'll let you know... Thanks very much I'm loving being with him, and phew, I don't have to search anymore!"

Claire, 30, Peterborough

"It's been a pleasure. I hope that my paddock of favourites survives in the wilderness and finds happiness with another."

Jamie, 30, Cambridge

"I met Dave through mysinglefriend two years ago and we got married last week. Thanks to your site as we probably wouldn't have met any other way. We are looking forward to the next adventure together a honeymoon in Japan and hopefully starting a family together in the future."

Rachel, 34, Bristol

"Thanks to your website I have met someone wonderful!"

Tim, 57, Warwick

"MSF has a really personal touch, having a friend write your profile makes for much more variety in information. I am really glad a friend recommended it. I'll let you know if we get married!"

Nick, 48, Haslemere

"A great site and a fantastic concept. Simple, easy to use and no fancy tricks or matching people up rubbish, and no endless forms to fill out, or the daunting and impossible bit of writing your own profile. Had a fantastic time chatting to and meeting up with other MSFers and have met the most amazing girl."

Phil, 35, London

"The best of the dating sites out there, genuine people and easy to use, thank you!"

James, 33, London

"First time I tried internet dating but could not recommend MSF enough as a fantastic way to meet people and have some great dates. I can guarantee you will go on dates and have fun with people from backgrounds that you will struggle to come across in a lifetime unless you tried internet dating."

Graham, 25, London

Many thanks to everyone who leaves us feedback - please keep it coming!

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