05 Sep 2016

5 ways to handle rejection and keep dating with confidence

Category: Advice
Author: Karen
Dating should be, and probably largely will be, a fun and positive experience, but like every situation in life it has a flipside, and that is the possibility of getting rejected. How much being rejected hurts will depend on the amount you've invested in the relationship: being turned down for a second date will smart a little, whereas being dumped after several months of seeing each other will take a lot longer to recover from. However, there are some things you can do to lessen the upset of being rejected and keep making the most of dating. Here are our five top tips.

1. Adopt a light hearted approach

You can take early evasive action and shield yourself from a world of pain by approaching every date with a light hearted attitude and no preconceptions. If you arrive at your date expecting to meet the love of your life you're much more likely to be disappointed than if you arrive at your date hoping to have a pleasant chat with a stranger. This small adjustment in attitude will stop rejection from biting you quite so hard.


2. Remember that it's rarely a reflection on you

There's an awful lot wisdom in the advice "Don't take it personally" and that maxim should definitely be applied to dating. If you've only met someone a handful of times you don't really know them, and they don't really know you either, so they aren't rejecting the real you, simply because they don't know who the real you is. If they don't want to see you again then it's simply not right, so don't waste lots of time worrying about what you might have said or done. 

3. You're allowed to wallow, but only for a bit

Even if you've only had one date, rejection can sting a little bit and it's only natural to feel a bit put out, especially if you had taken a bit of a shine to them. If you're feeling a bit cross or upset, vent your feelings to a sympathetic friends and then, and this is crucial, quickly move on. The amount of time you spend wallowing should correlate directly to the amount of time you've spent with them because it's really not worth feeling sorry for yourself after just one date.

4. Stick to the facts

Be careful not to start telling yourself stories about what has happened, and instead stick to the facts. It's easy, especially if you're an imaginative type, to fall into the trap of ruminating what might have been, but this is very unhelpful. Instead of wasting your precious time imagining how things might have turned out, stick to the facts, which are simply that it hasn't worked out.

5. Get back out there

If someone says they don't want to see you again the best thing you can do is immediately get searching for someone else to date. Too much time spent pondering on what went wrong this time will only undermine your confidence about going on other dates, so don't waste your time. Maintain a positive approach to your online dating experience and get back out there. 

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