14 Nov 2016

How to keep someone interested between dates

Category: Advice
Author: Karen
You might think that once you've had a first date with someone all the hard work is over, but actually the time around the first few dates is crucial for making sure that you can maintain someone's interest in you. Before you get into the 'exclusive' zone, your date might be meeting up with multiple people, so there is always the risk that you might not make it past the first few dates stage. However, there are some things you can do to beat the competition and put yourself in first place.

Don't be afraid to text first

The debate about how long to leave it before you get in touch after a date has been rumbling for, probably, centuries. Three hours? Three days? Or play it super cool and leave it three weeks? There is no hard and fast rule, and actually the most important thing is that you make your own judgement about it. If you feel like the date went well and there was a real spark, send a text the next day rather than waiting for them to contact you or get interested in someone else who is a bit more proactive.

But maintain a bit of cool

Receiving one fun text after a date will put a spring in anyone's step; receiving several slightly needy texts is going to have them running for the hills. Send them one text and then wait patiently for a reply - don't follow it up or they'll feel like you're hassling them. If they reply, then all is good, and if they don't then they're a rude so-and-so who you're best off without.

Mention something from your date

Once you've established contact, keep in touch on a casual basis and build on what happened during your date. If you mention things you talked about and remember things they like or don't like, they'll appreciate your interest in them and will want to keep chatting with you. Building a relationship doesn't just happen when you're face to face, so make sure your texts are as fun and lively as you are in actual conversation.

Suggest plans

When you're still trying to gauge someone's interest, it can be scary to suggest another date as no one wants to feel the sting of rejection. However, if you're both feeling to shy to suggest another date, then it ain't never gonna happen. So be brave and ask them out again, and suggest something to do, so you aren't both ambling around in the no man's land of not knowing what to suggest for so long that it never ends up happening. Even if you're just suggesting a coffee at a cafe that you love, you'll come across as proactive and thoughtful, which are very attractive qualities. 

Pucker up

You have to let your date know you like them, and give them something to think about when they're not with you so, whether it's a kiss on the cheek on the first date, or a full on snog on the first, don't be afraid of a little bit of (appropriate) physical contact. With enough dating experience you'll be able to read the mood and know what is the right thing to do, and holding back when there's definitely a spark there will only put them off. He or she who dares, wins!

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