29 Nov 2016

Six ways to know when it's time to stop dating someone

Category: Advice
Author: Karen
With some people you date, you know from the get go that it's not going to work out. You have a drink and a bit of chat, but it's obvious there's no spark and it's easy to walk away with a 'thanks, but no thanks' at the end. With others, things are a little more subtle and, though it's not love at first sight, you decide you'd like to see them again. With these people, you'll probably go on a second and third date, or maybe a few more, before you start to realise that, whilst you don't have a major aversion to them, there just isn't a spark there either. And this is where it gets dangerous, because it's easy to drift into something that could start to be described as a relationship, even though you aren't 100% sure about it. Here are six ways to know when it's time to stop.

1. You don't get butterflies when they message you

If you don't get a flicker of excitement when they get in touch with you, it's time to give up. Hanging on for the butterflies to start fluttering around is a massive waste of time, because, if you're waiting, they'll never arrive.

2. You don't have a problem with flaking out on plans (and you don't mind if they do)

If you've got a genuine interest in someone, you will be very keen to see them, so if you find yourself breathing a sigh of relief when they cancel on you because you'd rather be eating cake and watching Westworld, you've got a problem and should call it off.

3. You haven't made any future plans

We're not talking marriage or where to send your kids to school, we're talking thinking about the next few weeks ahead. If you don't really care whether they'll be in your life in the next week or month, you might as well cut your losses and keep looking for someone who makes your heart sing.

4. You keep asking your friends if they think you should keep seeing them

If you're into them, you'll know it. If you're agonizing over it and asking your friends for advice, it generally means you don't really want to pursue a relationship.

5. If you're faking something

Whether it's laughing at their jokes, or having a wild time in bed, if there's any part of the relationship where you're faking it, it's time to knock it on the head. Not only is this no fun for you, it's also not fair on them.

6. It all feels like a bit of an effort

The early stages of a relationship should be those heady, wonderful moments where all you can think about is that wonderful person. If seeing them feels stressful or difficult, or you just can't be arsed,  then you need to call it quits. 

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