19 Sep 2016

Why aren't my messages being answered?

Category: Advice
Author: Karen

When it comes to online dating, getting your profile online and sending out some messages is only half the battle, as you need some replies before you can actually make the jump from online to offline and meet some lovely people in real life. Whilst you won't receive replies to all your messages, you should definitely get some, as everyone is on MSF for the same reason. If you're finding that your inbox is disappointingly empty, you might like to ask yourself a couple of questions about the messages you're sending. 

Are my message titles eye catching?

If all of your message titles are 'Hi', 'Hey', 'Hello', 'Howdy' or any other similarly generic greeting, you need to make some changes. Inboxes are chock full of messages like this and if yours are the same then you're just going to blend right in with the crowd and slash your chances of getting some interest. If you can think of something witty that will raise a smile, then go with that, or you could reference something mentioned in their profile which proves you've thoroughly read their description and response, and are genuinely interested in them.

Are my messages a good length?

The unhelpfully vague reply to this question is, not too long, not too short. Kind of middly. Long enough to impart a bit of info about you, mention something in their profile so they know you've read it and give them something to respond to, but short enough not to kill all your mystique by detailing every tiny detail of your life thus far, and then send them to sleep. Make sure you include a question too as this provides them with an easy hook to hang their response on, and allows you to demonstrate that you are a charming and inquisitive people person, rather than a self-absorbed nightmare.

Are my messages tailored to each potential date?

By this we mean, don't copy and paste your messages. If you do this and you aren't getting replies then you need to stop doing it RIGHT NOW. A poll that we took a little while ago found that 70% of women said they could spot a copy and pasted message a mile of, and we have no doubt that blokes will say the same. One MSFer told us: "It's so obvious when a guy has cut and pasted a message - there is absolutely nothing specific about you or your profile in there at all. Needless to say, I NEVER reply to those emails." Copy and paste messages are a false economy in the end as people won't reply - they want to feel special and know that you have a genuine interest in them, so take the time to write a different message to everybody and see if that doesn't liven up your inbox. 

If you've got anything to say in response to this then we'd love to keep the conversation going - drop us an email at blog@mysinglefriend.com and let us know what you think.

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