21 Oct 2016

6 massive errors you should avoid in the first six months of

Category: Features
Author: Karen
If you've been on a few dates with someone and it's all going swimmingly, you'll probably be beside yourself with excitement and liable to do some things that you might later regret. When you're at the very beginning of something new it's very easy to get ahead of yourself and make some dating mistakes that you might seriously regret later. Here are six things to avoid.

#1 Getting too clingy

We're certainly not advocating the saying 'Treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen' but maintaining a little bit of distance is a good idea for a few reasons. First of all, it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder and not being available or in your date's face the whole time will only sharpen their desire to see you. Next, clinginess is very unattractive and the harder you cling, the more likely you are to drive someone away. And finally, it's a method of self-preservation: if you give away too much of yourself in those uncertain early stages, you're more likely to have your heart broken if it should go wrong.

                                                        

#2 Dropping the 'love' bomb

This rookie error is a continuation of the above and should be avoided during those crucial early days. It's hard to know initially whether what you're feeling is actually simple infatuation rather than full on love, so put the brakes on making big declarative statements until you're really sure. Dropping the 'L' word too early could also potentially make your date run a mile, so take it steady.

#3 Constantly slag off your ex

If you're going to end up in a long term relationship with this person, there are many years ahead for them to get to know the details of what happened with your ex, and vice versa. Use these first few golden weeks or months to get to know each other, rather than banging on about the ghosts of partners past. If you find you can't make it through a date without talking about your ex, it might be a sign that you aren't quite ready to be dating again.

#4 Placing them on a pedestal

Though you will inevitably looking at your new beau through several pairs of rose tinted glasses, you have to remember that they aren't perfect. If we place someone on a pedestal we also place them under a huge amount of pressure to live up to our (usually totally imaginary) image of them. If you expect someone to be better than they are humanly capable of being you'll only end up being disappointed.

#5 Introduce them to your family

You might not even manage to introduce your date to your friends in the first month, so you certainly shouldn't be taking them home to meet your parents. Meeting the folks at such an early stage could be a little intimidating and awkward, so use that time to do something fun together, without getting granny involved.

#6 Make big future plans

The initial euphoria of meeting someone you like can make it feel like you'll be together forever and ever, but you just don't know how it's going to pan out. Your plans shouldn't be looking much further ahead than next week - maybe next month at a push - so avoid the temptation to book a three week tour of New Zealand in six months time, and just wait and see how things develop.

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