11 Nov 2016

Should I message them or not? 4 ways to tell

Category: Features
Author: Karen
When you're searching through dating profiles, there can be times when the sheer volume of potential dates can leave you feeling a little bit overwhelmed. There are only so many people you can favourite, and even less that you can message, if you want to have time to function in your every day life and stay in gainful employment, so it's good to know a few little tips and tricks that can help you sort the wheat from the chaff when you're looking for someone to go out with. Here are four questions to ask yourself whilst you're perusing the site.

How much have they written?

You can always tell how committed someone is to having a good quality online dating experience by how much they've written in response to their friends description of them. A couple of sentences is fine, especially if it's a witty on liner, but if they've written just 'Thanks' or 'Message me' or something similar, they're not really giving enough away. A paragraph or two is the gold standard, but beware anyone who writes reams about themselves, because that might be their conversational style too.

How much can I learn about them from their pictures?

If someone only has one picture on their profile, it could be cause for a little concern as it either means that they can't be bothered to put up anymore, or it's the only picture of themselves that they've got, which is a bit of a worry in the era of wall to wall digital media. A good primary picture should clearly show what they look like, hopefully with a big smile, and secondary pics should show interests such as sport or travelling, as well as the all important pictures of them out with their mates. This shows they're a sociable and fun person, rather than a bit on the lonely side.

Do they want to learn more about me?

We're fans of cutting to the chase here at MSF, as too much time spent messaging can make a potential date go off the boil. However, the people you message should be interested in you and your profile, ask you a few questions and engage in a bit of banter. If they immediately ask you out for a drink, you should be a tad suspicious as, whilst they may simply be incredibly impatient to meet you, this can also be the behaviour of someone just looking for a quick hook up. 

Have they got a bit saucy in their messages?

There's nothing more fun than sending a stranger a few flirty messages, but if you feel that they're crossing a line and getting a little too familiar too quickly in their messages, you can probably guess what they'll be like in real life. Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable is a step too far, so if the banter goes a step too far, let them down gently and move on to someone else.

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