15 Nov 2016

What you DEFINITELY shouldn't say on a first date

Category: Features
Author: Karen

First dates are nerve-wracking affairs, even if you've got the confidence of Beyonce after a half a bottle of Babycham. You want to make a good first impression, but you spend half the evening feeling tongue-tied and then, once you've loosened it up with three ill-advised cocktails, the rest of the evening baring your soul and boring your date. There are an infinite number of conversational subjects that you might touch upon on a first date and no doubt they will be as sparkling and fascinating as you are but, if you want to make that good impression and secure a second round, there are a few subjects that you'd be wise to avoid, whether you've had one too many or not.

1. Your ex

It should be obvious to not talk about your ex upon meeting someone new, but you'd be surprised at the amount of people that drag their baggage along to the date, empty it out all over the table and then pick slowly through the detritus. If you are mean about your ex, you'll sound bitter; if you speak of them in glowing terms you'll sound like you aren't over them (even if it just happened to end well). If you keep seeing this person the ex talk will naturally occur at some stage, so don't force it on the first date.

2. Your future plans

Of course, if you want to mention work ambitions or the fact that you'd like to climb the Matterhorn backwards whilst wearing a sombrero, then you should, but relationship ambitions shouldn't be mentioned at this stage. Whether you want to get married in the next year and have four kids, or you plan on being a free-wheeling and footloose floozy for the rest of your life, your date doesn't need to know right now. We do recommend being honest about your intentions fairly early on in a relationship, but there's no need to trample all over any potential shoots of romance immediately.

3. Your "issues"

Whether you've got an abandonment anxiety or you need to click your heels together three times before you eat a banana or you've got 43 scratch cards stuffed in your knickers, don't lay your problems or foibles on your date the first time you meet them. Your first date should be about showing off your brilliant bits and having a good laugh, and you don't want to freak them out with YOUR BIG, SCARY WEIRDNESSES. Save that for later, and comfort yourself with the knowledge that they'll have some equally odd, if not odder, bits. Lucky you!

4. Your finances

It may be a peculiarly British reservation, but talking about money on the first date just isn't cricket. Whether you bathe in champagne and light your cigars with tenners, or you're about to try and pay your half of the bill with a maxed out credit card (and you've got four more in your wallet), don't go into details on the first date. Make sure you can pay what you need to, and leave it at that.

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