24 Jun 2016

Why having a 'type' could harm your dating chances

Category: Features
Author: Karen
As humans we're creatures of habit and this extends to the type of people we think we might like to date. If you've decided that you only like tall people with red hair who like playing tennis and eating clams (this is just an example, of course) then you've hugely limited your dating chances before you've even started. Having a 'type' is like a negative form of editing your experience of the world: you'll miss out on an awful lot of attractive, lovely people simply because you're looking too hard for someone very particular. Here are five reasons to abandon your 'type' and cast your dating net much more widely.

Your type might not actually be that good for you

We won't get too deep into dating psychology here, but it's worth having a think about whether dating a particular type of person has served you well before or not, and, if it hasn't, why you want to continue to date those people. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results and this applies to dating too. Breaking away from your 'type' might be exactly what you need to form a long lasting relationship.

Having a type limits you

If you only stick to a particular type, your dating pool will be very small and shallow indeed. Online dating is supposed to move you beyond your usual social circle and introduce you to lots of wonderful new people, so you'll be limiting yourself if you immediately cut out a lot of those people because they don't fit your criteria. Allow yourself to be curious and adventurous and we think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Having a type might be a little superficial...

If your 'type' is based on superficial qualities such as looks, job or shoe size, you need to have serious think about what it is that you're looking for. There's an awful lot more to meeting someone special and starting a relationship and, ultimately, you'll fall in love with someone for their personality and not for their looks or salary size. Ask yourself whether you're basing your 'type' on qualities that will, ultimately, not be very important.

...And a little unrealistic

It's important to figure out where your ideas about your particular 'type' came from and ask yourself whether this person could actually exist. It's easy to form an idea in your mind of the perfect partner and then compare real people to them, but this is setting yourself up for a serious disappointment every single time. If you allow for imperfections you're much more likely to find a lasting relationship.

Try imagining yourself as a 'type'

You think of yourself as a fascinating and unique individual, right? Well, so does everyone else. You wouldn't want to be given the once over and popped into a particular category, so think twice before you do the same to other people. Giving other people a chance to become your type will increase your chances of meeting someone lovely, so forget about your type and open your heart and your mind to everyone.

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