02 Nov 2016

6 ways to remove the stress from dating

Category: Advice
Author: Karen
Dating should be fun and exciting, and we hope that's your usual experience of it, but like anything else in the world, it can be a little stressful at times. Whether you struggle to write first messages or you get all clammy palmed at the mere thought of actually meeting up with someone, there are lots of potential pitfalls that might make you want to stay at home with a House of Cards box set and never go on a date again. However, there are a few simple tips that can help remove the stress and keep it fun.

Don't get too invested too early

And by early, we mean the online stage. If you message someone and they don't reply, so what? There could be a million reasons why someone doesn't respond, from being too busy to engage in online dating right now, to being the type of flake that you wouldn't want to date anyway. Don't worry about people that don't reply and concentrate on those that do.

Your messages don't have to win awards

Seriously. You're crafting an online dating message, not Nobel Prize-winning literature. Make sure your spelling and punctuation is up to scratch, keep things upbeat and ask some questions: that's all you need to do.



Hold onto your perspective

When you do get a date, remember that that is all it is: a date. You're not performing brain surgery or diffusing a bomb; you're simply meeting up with another human being who seems quite pleasant. You should definitely not treat dates as auditions for potential marriage material as this will really pile the pressure on and make you feel stressed. You just need to find out if they pique your interest enough to see them again.

Keep things simple

Complications generally lead to stress, so make sure your first date is as simple as possible. Don't arrange a three course dinner at the poshest restaurant in town, or a trip to the cinema to see an obscure art house film; all you need to do at this stage is sit down together and have a chat, so arrange to have a coffee or a drink and see how things go. That way you won't have to suffer the stress of seeing out the rest of the date when you know it just isn't happening.

Be yourself

Yes, it's a massive cliche, but cliches always hold a lot of truth. From writing your profile to meeting up with someone, you should always be yourself, or your going to run into a world of stress further down the line. You want to meet someone who's into you, not some airbrushed image of you, so be real. We guarantee you'll end up happier in the long run.

Don't put too much pressure on

If you put too much pressure on yourself or have unrealistically high expectations for a date, you're more likely to feel disappointed. Yes, people occasionally meet The One on their first date, but this is rare, so don't feel bad if it doesn't happen to you. If a date doesn't work out, look at it as good practice for the next one, and get back out there. 

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