MySingleFriend

Simon said...

Like Jesus, Dave has spent his early twenties travelling the world and helping others (he recently got back from six months in Australia, and is now a professional tennis coach - both of which have been lifelong dreams of his). However, unlike Jesus, Dave is well-dressed, well-groomed, and real. Plus he drives a Citroen Saxo, putting even the most physically imposing of donkeys to shame.

Furthermore, much the same as the Dickensian fictional character Oliver Twist, Dave is from a picturesque yet remote farming village and has recently moved to London in an attempt to cultivate yet another rags to riches tale. And so he now turns to me, the Artful Dodger, to assist him in finding his very own Nancy, albeit without committing numerous counts of theft along the way, unlike that little brat Oliver.

If I were to compare Dave to a fictional superhero, apart from Jesus of course, I would choose Tintin. This is because he is tenacious yet understated in character, with a level-headed and self-assured outlook, as well as an unrivalled level of enthusiasm for the things he feels passionate about. He also looks a little bit like Tintin. The upside to Dave, however, is that he is not tied down to the commitment of keeping a pet dog, and is therefore able to lead a far more adventurous and fancyfree lifestyle.

If there is anything that you should take away from the above few paragraphs, it is summarised in the following points:
a) Dave is a true legend with a heart of gold and you will really like him
b) Dave's social circle consists of a great group of easy-going, confident, fun-loving people, so if this is not you please move along
c) Dave is scientifically proven to be superior to the lord Jesus Christ himself, Oliver Twist, and Tintin put together - what more could you ask for in a man?
d) You really do need to make contact now before he flies off the shelf!

A few more buzzwords to eliminate any competition that may still be hanging around: authentic, funny, intelligent